Waiting for a Battle

Let me have this, just this once,

I think its time to have my lot,

once again cruelly passed over,

each time plundered, left diminished,

Held back by walls as thick as Troy.

I have no horse to penetrate,

I own no force to remonstrate,

So give me soil so I might till it,

Or hand me sword so I might win it!

I can not abide any longer a wait

By the dawn the walls must surely break,

Or I shall once, and, for all,

No longer live to hope, nor live to hate?

My time is now,

 I can count no more,

No longer will I steady a steely nerve,

walk out to face the bruising hail,

 unfettered by the rules of binding fate.

What heart felt erosion I feel this day,

Gasps and throes of final acts,

Broken lances glimmer in a dying sun

My bloodied banner lying trodden,

no strength of arm left to lift it.

I pray give chance, but half a chance,

A chance to fail is cheap enough,

No dishonour to fall in heady splendour,

How cruel a fate to be the last reserve,

ungambled piece, robbed of chance to shine!

Must I be, in the final count,

Unused a player, redundant a soldier,

No chance to fall, no chance to die?

Time grows short, minds grow weary,

The drizzle falls, the forecast dreary..