HEWItt and hoon sitting in a tree...

Hoon and Hewiit sitting in a tree

P L O T T I N G,

Another coup that’s doomed to fail,

Worse than the strikes that plagued Royal Mail!

A coup plotted in the deepest winter,

When snow brings our isle to a halt,

While Charles Clarke lets the horses bolt,

With language worse than Harold Pinter!

For the last time, it’s a Labour civil war,

But will old Gordo be shown the door?

After quashing the daring Dartboard coup,

Will Brown be here when the election’s due?

Once again it’s those well-known whiners,

Ex-Cabinet ministers Hewitt and Hoon,

Who will surely end up like the miners,

With a plot worthy of Mills and Boon!

It happened after the thrilling PMQs,

Even celebrated in the pro-Tory Sky News,

When Brown smashed the evil Cameron,

(Who’ll turn Britain into an English Enron!).

Then those two cowards declared war,

Wanting a secret ballot to oust dear Brown,

Typical backbenchers, their life’s a bore,

So create havoc, screaming ‘Nimrod Down!’

Geoffrey Hoon, a familiar name,

What’s his major claim to fame?

For expense abuses he does have a knack,

And for letting down our troops in Iraq.

He sulking because he lost out in the EU,

To a no-name Baroness (yes, it’s true!)

But this ex-chief whip and Transport geezer,

Thinks, like Brutus, he’ll overcome Caesar!

An apple a day hasn’t kept Hewitt away,

Doctors and nurses hear her name with dismay,

As she ripped and clawed at the NHS,

So now it resembles an Eton Mess!

After failing in their respective jobs,

It’s no wonder they’ve such repressed anger,

And are willing to only open their gobs,

To string poor Gordo on a coat hanger!

Both must be mentally handicapped,

To do this when the Election looms,

Labour’s already had much energy sapped,

Have they been consuming magic mushrooms?

For now, it seems, the danger has passed,

Even the Fearless Five around Brown massed,

And courage failed Miliband once again,

The nerve lost out to the gravy train!

With the latest coup defeated in battle,

Now Hoon and Hewitt can only prattle.

Labour can ready for the election campaign,

Where a vote for Tories must mean you’re insane!

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