Actual News Stories (that peak our interest):

John Terry Fiasco Continues-Yes, the man who can no longer play football because of an affair is still being demonized in the media, especially Sky News, who are devoting all their time to it. Move on, please, it's not like he's a serial rapist or a murderer...but even if he was, it wouldn't affect his football skills! And now Capello has dropped him as captain of England team...

3 Labour MPs and A Tory MP Are Charged Under Theft Act- Let's hope it will be a public trial! They issued a joint statement that said "We are clearly extremely disappointed that the DPP has decided to instigate proceedings against us...We totally refute any charges that we have committed an offence and we will defend our position robustly. We are confident of our position and have been advised by eminent QCs." And they should be tried by the parliamentary courts, not the normal courts like everybody else. One more example of MPs striking refusal to acknowledge themselves as mere mortals. They are above and beyond the law...

Government Pledges to Halve Number of Smokers By 2020-So, half of 8 million is....4 million? In ten years? Why stop at only half? Get rid of the lot!!! One of the ideas is to have cigarette packages completely plain, instead of the 'attractive' packaging that we see today. Attractive? Seeing the words 'YOU'LL DIE IF YOU SMOKE' and a picture of a black lung is not attractive packaging to me. Unless some peopel get off on seeing cancer? I think that this has the success probability of England winning the World Cup this year...now that John Terry has sacrificed himself to the Devil!

Blair Accused of Hyping War in Iran-Sir Richard Dalton says that Blair was advocating war in Iran, apparently making it an electoral issue. Hmmm, I'm sure Brown and Cameron are going to put forward their campaigns and how/when/why to invade Iran next week. I can see the new Tory posters now: "WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS: WE'LL INVADE IRAN, NOT THE NHS." HOW RIDICULOUS. Seriously, people baying for Blair's blood because they didn't get a drop yesterday. Pathetic.

Celebrity Big Brother Is Over...For Good! Thank the Gods! No more No-List celebrities clogging up our waves. Now, after the end of the real Big Brother, then maybe television can forget reality TV? Move on to REAL TV?!?!?!? But, I suppose, we will still have Davina...which negates the whole effort of excising Big Brother.

Blair at Chilcot enquiry- Here we go. I don't like you you don't like me, the great forum for the attempted exchange of incommensurables reaches its apex. Nothing of any worth, just gratioutus, TB seems to have been practicing this from the very beginning, as you would expect.

Apple Unveil something- What exactly? doesn't matter! it will be slender, shiny, cool, ridiculously expensive unnecessary.

Tony Blair is returning- Perhaps a Napoleon style return to power? no, he still has to be made to cry over going into Iraq remember. Tears of Oil? Ha!

The Republican's Strike Back! Oh no. Obama is doomed, a turning point after only one year etc... Just stop it. American Politics is so shallow. Obama has a tough slog ahead, he can only pray he faces Palin. But honestly, get a grip...

Britain emerges from its min Ice age. Quite lucky really, for the media, after weeks of over the top, indulgent scare mongering, a horrific earthquake hits Haiti, and suddenly being stuck in a car for eight hours, or over two thirds of Welsh schools closing due to snow, does not seem all that important. In fact, its a little pathetic.

Obama outlines $117bn Bank Levy. You go girl. i can see Glen Beck salivating at this one. His last little lecture involved cutting up hundreds of cream cakes. Fun times ahead.

FROZEN BRITAIN!!! The end of the world, for the next two weeks at least. Temperatures lower than the south Pole? who cares. The country shuts down not because it fails, but because we are a bunch of inane drama queens!

Another Failed Brown Plot. Just as Labour see a slight glimmer of hope, they shoot them selves in the foot with another badly thought out plot to oust Gordo, doing two of the things they want to see the least, strengthening his leadership and harming the parties re-election prospects. Well done Hoon! with your name attatched, it was bound to succeed!

Cameron Launches Election Camapign, sort of. My my Dave, aren't we a little early? or is that you are trying to find some of that, oh, what's it called, the thing that should be important but you completely lack....Ah yes, that's it, substance?

Manchester United 0 Leeds United 1- Detestable football team Manchester United are knocked out of the FA cup 3rd round by old rivals now league one team, the Glorious Leeds United. Wonderful result, showing that football, a great British insitution, does not have to be the plaything of Russian oil theifs, Rich Yanks or bored decadent Arab shieks.

Blackwater Gets Away Scot-Free as Justice is Welcomed in the New Year-Of course, I'm being sarcastic. Charges against five Blackwater 'contractors' (or security guards, soldiers...whatever you want to call them) have been dropped by a federal judge on New Year's Day. They had been charged with massacring innocent Iraqi civilians in Nisoor Sqaure in 2007. Apparently, prosecutors had used statements from the guards that they had made under an immunity clause form the State Department. As the head of the Coalition Provisional Authority in 2004, Paul Bremer issued 'Order 17', which gave sweeping immunity to all private contractors working for the USA in Iraq. Understandably, Iraqi officals are peeved with this result, as they are powerless to do anything. Private contractors have already run wild in Iraq without many consequences and reaped some pretty good benefits. There have been reports of widespread abuses, civilian deaths, the disappearance of Iraq reconstruction money...the dangers of privatisation were open for the world to see in Iraq. And now a small but important case against them has been dropped...And if anyone does not think that mercenary/private armies like Blackwater are dangerous, I suggest you watch Season 7 of 24. What is it the Americans say...And Justice For All?

Nothing Happens During The Festive Period-The festive period, hey, nothing of value happens in the news usually. Well, apart from the tsunami in 2004. And the death of Benazir Bhutto in 2007. And last year nothing happened. Well, apart from the attack on the free world on the day of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. Yes, some heinous Muslim attempted to recreate 9/11 or a similar aeroplane disaster (Lockerbie?) on Christmas Day. And the entire West goes into panic overdrive. Body scanners, strip searches, cavity searches, no luggae allowed on flights, going on flights naked...I'm sure Gordon Brown will campaign for the latter two to be compulsory in Britain. Bingo for some! Further embarassment for Britain comes with the news that the failed suicide bomber studied at the University of London. Brown must be thinking of employing some of Nick Griffin's initiatives at the moment. And now the US and Britain are trying to initiate a crackdown on Yemen, where the failure was apparently radicalised in Islam (he could never have been radicalised in England!!!). This is vaguely familiar...Iraq!!!! Blood for oil! Lies, lies and lies! So not only is the Yemen government facing rebellion in the north and south, but now they will be lectured by the West and possibly punished by sanctions...that will solve the radicalisation problem!

Obama Gets An Early Christmas Present-Yes, the watered down healthcare bill was finally passed on Christmas Eve. Now it has to be reconciled with the bill passed by the House of Reps. Although Obama still hasn't lived up to expectations (but who could?!?!?), but both this event and the Copenhagen Accord have boosted Obama's agenda. Let's see how far he can ride this wave, and if the US citizens want to ride it as well...However, the Republicans vow to fight it 'til the death. It is all in vain, of course. The Democrats have suddenly realised that not only do they have the majority in both Houses, but that the President is also a Democrat! Maybe we'll see more Democrat power in the near future...if they survive the midterms, that is.

US Healthcare Bill Close To Being Made Law-After much backstage dealing and many concessions , Obama's dream of healthcare for everyone is one more vote away from being turned into legislation. Although it may be a heavily watered down version of Obama's dream, it's still something of a victory for the Nobel Peace Prize winner. And, coincidentally, NASDAQ reached a 15 month high in shares because of this second vote. It's been obvious from the start that if the pharmaceautical companies cannot beat the legislation, they'll join it and make the most out of it. And with all the concession the Democrats have made to get the bill passed, there's plenty of oppurtunity for the companies to make more money. If the Bill passes its third and final vote on Christmas Eve, then it will have finished off a pretty good week for Obama. He's presented the Copenhagen Accord as a great victory, and it will be another great victory for him come Christmas Eve. However, what will the public make of this bill? That will be another hurdle...but at least, after two years of having power in both Houses, the Democrats are actually doing something useful!

Ice, Ice Baby...Conquers Britain!-If only the Nazis had made a device that controls the weather. Britain would have been defeated before the war even started! If Bin Laden got his hands on such a device, I dread to think what would become of this sceptr'd isle...Airports close, public transport skids to a halt, hosptials cancel operations, bin colletions are delayed, people are close to rioting., and people freeze to death in their own back gardens. Let's hope this doesn't adversely affect Labour in the polls, as people blame Gordon Brown for the weather. Or maybe Cameron has his hands on such a device...it's the ice wot won it!!!!

Copenhagen Summit Fails to Achieve Anything-Although the UN welcomes the results, which are few. No long-term global targets for emission cuts, or a timeframe to turn the agreement into a legally binding document. If you skimread the Copenhagen Accord (even a skimread is torture enough), it's made plainly obvious that climate change is accepted, although this was not the issue of dispute. Thankfully, according to Article 12, "We [the attendees] call for an assessment of the implementation of this Accord to be completed by 2015." Wow. Under the verbiage lies a unsubtle procrastination. Even Saint Obama could not push the delegates to a meaningful resolution. A delegate for Sudan likened the accord to a Holocaust for South Africa. The (wholly unrealistic) goal of dropping global carbon emissions by 80% in 2050 was discarded. All those idiots protested for nothing! Now the world is doomed for destruction...

Iran Claims Iraqi Oil Field-Which was on the border, therefore bringing a border disupte into light. Is this another phase of the modern wars for resources? Or another attempt to get one over the US, and further destablise Iraq? Maybe both. It's been a strangely quite response from the US, who've been embroiled in both the Copenhagen Summit and the Health Care Bill, the former being portrayed as a victory, yet achieving nothing, and the latter slowly reaching legality. They're usually on the case with Iran, be it uranium plants or human rights abuses. Interesting...

BA Wins-The High Court agreed that Unite's first strike ballot was 'illegal', and another strike coudl take weeks to organize. BA's head honcho, Willie Walsh, now looks stronger than ever, thus reducing the likelyhood of another strike. So, Capitalism wins, again! Just like the bankers...although people are cheering this victory, unlike their reaction to the revitalised bankers. Because their precious flights have now been restored, and they can increase their carbon footprint over the Christmas period? I wouldn't like to be flying on an aeroplane that had cabin crew members who agreed to strike...anything could happen.

BA Cabin Crew Agree To Strike over Christmas!-Oh no, they've ruined Christmas! And now BA are taking legal action against them to save Christmas. Or, more accurately, their profits. BA can literally not afford to let this happen. But let's take a step back, and think about something else, that hasn't been dicussed on Sky News. If this strike is going to happen, then surely it's a good thing for climate change!!! With the Copenhagen Summit still ongoing (barely), you'd think that someone out there would talk about the benefits of no flights for 12 days during one of the busiest periods for flights. Aeroplanes are one of the biggest polluters, if you remember Climate Change 101. But no, it's all about the selfishness of thesecabin crew members. They're not being selfish, they're thinking about the fate of the entire planet!

Chilcott Enquiry newsfeed cut- Presumably because they revealed that it was the Reptilian's who started the war in Iraq to gain control of the Ark of the Covenant. May as well be, juicy info? or security requirements? who knows? who cares? pointless media hoo hah!

Tony Blair Would Have Gone To War Even If There Were No WMD in Iraq-Oh, he lied all along! How dare he lie, every other politican in history has never ever uttered a lie! But seriously, apart from all the immature 'Bliar!' or 'War Criminal' chants, what does this mean? That invading Iraq was the right thing to do? Debatable point, obviously. I'm just not sure why he admitted this to Fearn Cotton, of all people. Or is it a cunning move by Blair to discredit the Chicott Inquiry before he has to present his testimony to it? The Chilcott Inquiry is a massive waste of time, anyway, but Blair's admission shows that he finds the Inquiry repugnant. After hearing former comrades turning their backs on him (i.e. Scarlett saying he 'regrets the 45 minute claim), and the fact that people are baying for his blood, why shouldn't he do everything in his power to make a joke of the Inquiry?

Gordon Brown (and entire world) Condemns Climate Sceptics Ahead of Copenhagen Summit-Yes, Gordon Brown ignores EDL trouble to combat the dangerous, fascist, and possibly terrorist climate sceptics. After emails from the University of East Anglia purportedly show that evidence has been 'modifed' to fit the conclusion of climate change, the world rebels. Yes, forget the ACTUALLY dangerous, drunk, and violent EDL, and concentrate on some sceptics who don't believe in climate change. And it happens on the day of 'Stop Climate Chaos' protests, another vain attempt to convince world leaders to 'do something about climate change, man!!!' The rubbish they cause during the protest, along with transport issues (and let's not forget the police prescene), probably counteracts any effort they make. I especially loved the sign 'Justice for the Climate'! What does that mean?!?!? They want an 80% reduction in carbon emissions by 2050. Sounds easy on paper, but have they actually thought about the consequences of that? What it would mean for developing nations, for example, who depend on cheap coal to keep hundreds of millions alive? Brown referred to the people who found the email as 'flat earth' climate sceptics. But now climate change has become the 'flat earth' dogma, and any attempt to question the validity of climate change evidence is met with vitrolic verbal abuse. These sceptics were also called 'anti-science.' So if science proved climate change wrong, then would science be anti-science? What happened to an open mind? Al Gore, that's who!

Murdoch and Gates in an Alliance From Hell?-Microsoft and New Corporation are in talks. This earth-shattering news seems to have slipped by most newspapers, even the might Sky News neglected to mention it. Page 18 of the Independent alerted me to this alliance that could mean the total annihilation of Earth itself. Well, okay, that maybe too far. However, it all seems a bit too sinister after these two behemoths almsot went to war early last year over Yahoo. Yes, when Murdoch planned to rescue Yahoo early last year, Gates almost went to war with him. Of course, Gates wanted a piece of Microsoft. Now that little spat is over and Gates is trying to get his new search engine Bing on the map (coincidentally, in July of this year, a deal was struck between Microsoft and Yahoo that allowed Microsoft to use Yahoo's search engine in projects releated to Bing). In the proposed deal, Bing would pay for top index content form Murdoch's papers IF Murdoch removed all his content from Google. And apparently Microsoft wants more publishers on board, withdrawing their content from Google. First BBC, now Google? Goddamn it, Murdoch, gaddamn it all to hell! Now with Bill Gates on his side, nothing can stop him...

The Iraq Inquiry Never Dies-Sorry, really bad pun, but suitably fitting for another waste of taxpayer's money. Okay, the Hutton Inquiry was a hoot, and apparently concluded that no one was to blame for the Iraq War. Much like the Warren Commission, though, people clamoured for heads to actually roll. Or did they? I guess people are too busy trying to find a job in the economic meltdown, striking (if they're with the Royal Mail, etc), or trying to salvagge a life after the floods to bother about an inquiry that will find no one responsible, and will let no heads roll. It begs the question: why? Good question! If it's Gordo's way of trying to break with the past of Blair then it will fail, and add no more voters in the next election. Who will be satisfied with this inquiry? Hmmmm.....And is there anything we don't already know about it! Reel off the facts: Blair is a war criminal! It was planned well in advance! It was for oil! Sexed-up dossier! False claim of 45 minutes! Ad nauseum...At least Tony will take the stand. And add nothing!

Blair Out Of Running as Eu President-Brown has done the dirty on Blair and refused to support him as Eu President! The reason was that all the other EU leaders were less than enthusiastic about the prospect of Tony Blair in the top position, possibly afraid of the power he could wield. I really do think it's time that European leaders (and the British public especially) stop believing that Blair is the Antichrist. Every time Blair is mentioned, the words 'liar', 'war criminal', and many expletives are bandied around. Think for yourselves people, and stop the naive Michael Moore-esque assumptions! We don't exist in a perfect world. Realpolitik exists. And he could no more abuse thw power of Eu President than any other potential candidate could. As the old saying goes, power corrupts...And it's not as if the EU itself is the most democratic institution; think of how the Lisbon Treaty was eventually ratified!

Queen's Speech Raises the Stakes...-Another year, another Queen's Speech, maybe the last that New Labour will see in power for a decade or so. Now I'm not one for debating the validity and value of this speech (hey, Queenie needs something useful to do, doesn't she?). I'm more concerned about the content. The usual bills were mentioned, more care for pensioners, increased monitoring of the financial sector, some rubbish about parents and schooling. All a last gasp to boost Labour's ratings in the polls, populist tripe to entice the masses. And of course, with 14 major bills to pass before the next Genreal Election, very few will actually come into law. It won't work. However, there was a diamond in the rough. It was the mention of a bill committing the Government to halve it's deficit within the next four years. So, Brown leaves his legacy for the Tories to overcome?!?!?! Clever man! And what happens if the Government fail to do this? Can the Queen dissolve 'Her' Government?

Obama Criticises Internet Censorship In China: He'd better be careful, that Barack, when verbally abusing China. With a trillion dollars in US dollar reserves, China could run roughshod over the American economy. In Shanghai (of all places, Obama said: "I think that the more freely information flows, the stronger the society becomes, because then citizens of countries around the world can hold their own governments accountable." And, wait for it: "They can begin to think for themselves." Among the showers of praise for China, Obama decided to shoehorn that little titbit in. Why? To keep up the momentum of his peace prize? To keep up the pretence that liberal democracy is the best form of government, and the Chinese way is not? Dangerous words, Mr Obama, dangerous words. The Chinese won't want foreigners saying nasty things about their government, no matter what part of it. And I guess all those Obama-hating Republicans can think for themselves whilst using the internet freely? Or are they all called narrow-minded, racist bigots? And just think of the outrage if Chinese Premier Hu Jintao critised Obama's regime in Washington!!! Obama can't go too far, however, and he knows it.

Petrol to Hit £5 a Gallon This Christmas: Well, that's a suprise. That's what happens after oil production has reached its peak and OPEC control most of the oil. In desperate times, the OPEC nations will drive prices up because their oil production is reaching rock bottom. Easy oil is over, now every drop means more drilling, more costs, more energy. And what can we, the West do, bar invade every Middle Eastern country and Russia, then turn the Artic into an oil slick?

Front Page of The Independent: Has Cameron Done A Deal With Murdoch?-Please, Roger Alton, rather than filling your paper with trash about how to improve sex life and What Katie Did Next, simply look at The Sun or Sky News. Think about the recent controversy over Brown's letter incident (Letter-gate? Grammar-gate?). Think about how The Sun announced it had changed from Labour to Conservatives. It's fairly certain that a deal has been done, and if not, one will be done pretty soon. It's in Murdoch's nature to interfere with British politics, if only to make an extra Aussie dollar or two. And it's in the nature of politicians to win by any means necessary.

The Sun/Sky News Goes Into Overload About Gordon Brown's Letter Incident-Okay, okay, I think anyone would be offended if the Prime Minister sent you a badly-written and mis-spelled letter of condolence. But let's stop and think for a second-the guy is blind in one eye and can barely write as it is. His signature looks like a monkey's handwriting. And it seems he writes a lot of these letters, as even losing contestants in X Factor receive of letter of sympathy from Brown. And who is responsible for checking Brown's letters? God only knows the outrage that would ensue if Brown typed a letter of condolence, or didn't send one at all. Yes, it did deserve to be in the news, but not for an entire 12 hours on Sky News, nor the front page in The Sun. Can Brown do anything right?

Brown Calls For Global Bank Fund- Never fear, kids, Brown comes to the rescue again! After usurping Al Gore as the King of Green, Brown now turns his global attention to the banks. In the St. Andrews G20 meeting, he explained that a fund should be set up in order to protect taxpayers around the world from future taxpayer-funded bailouts. The taxpayer 'had no real choice but to step in to keep the system (of banking) afloat', the bonnie Scotsman said. Wait a minute, 'no real choice?' We didn't have a choice at all, Mr. Brown, like we didn't have a choice with the Lisbon Treaty...So this fund will be paid for possibly by a tax on banking transactions. Even if this was legally imposed on banks (unlikely), the cost of this tax would only be placed upon their customers, in other words, the taxpayers!

Train Service Renationalised-Oh yes, it's happened-British Rail is back! The Department for Transport have decided to renationalise the National Exrpess East Coast franchise, starting frmo Saturday 14th November. Is this the start of something new (well, old, but you understand me, right), a return to truly British business? Or just an subtle way for the government to recoup some desperately need pounds? Of course, they've blamed the private sector for unfair fare hikes, so we'll see how these renationalised fares rise in the next couple of months. Well, at least the profit won't be going to rich chief executives, shareholders, and the like. Hmmmm, where will the money actually be going? MPs expenses? With National Express leaving a £1.4 billion hole in its accounts, let's see how long this charade is kept up...

Czech President Ratifies Lisbon Treaty, and Conservatives Change Their Tune About Referendum-So, in a grand U-Turn to rival anything in Fast and Furious, the Tories have revealed that there will be no referendum on the Lisbon Treaty after the Czechs became the last EU country to ratify it. Well, in fairness to the slimy Tories, there's not much they could have done. There's a large probability that a referendum in this country would have ended badly for Lisbon. The EU woudl be left with no choice but to ask us to hold another referendum, and another, and another...until we finally ratified it. Just look at Ireland! they said no the first time, yet gave in on the second attempt. So, with a more streamlined EU now just over the horizon, what can we expect? More bureacracy, increased expenses abuses that would make Duckhouse Tory blush, and ever more stringent laws that are passed as easy as 1, 2, 3...and just to think, we never got a say in this...so much for democracy!

Tony Blair Tries to Export Tesco to the Middle East-For a cool £1 million, apparently! Blair Inc has garnered over £15 million since Tony himself resigned in 2007. Not bad considering he's the only man who can bring peace to the Middle East...and maybe Tesco is a path to peace, freedom, and democracy in the Middle East? Why plan a 'Road for Peace' between Israel and Palestine when a Tesco on the border could solve sixty years of difference? Iran will immediatly halt any uranium enrichment when Tescos spring up all over Tehran, Afghanistan will elect Sir Terry Leary as President when Tescos expel the Taliban from the land, and Saudi Arabia will elimante sharia law in the face of Tesco's employee rights. Just think, the Good Friday peace agreement woudl have been so much easier with Tescos bringing Unionist and Nationalist together in Northern Ireland...or maybe not, Tone! And your fellow Europeans won't like this revelation...

UK Drugs Czar Sacked For Alcohol Abuse-In the most literal sense, Professor David Nutt has abused alcohol, explaining that it is far more dangerous than LSD, cannabis and ecstasy. Therefore Home Secretary Alan Johnson has sacked him. Sky News, it seems, has gone supernova about this, in it's latest attempt to attack New Labour. And they do have a point, of sorts. How can this be a legitimate sacking? If Nutt was actually an alcholic , then that would be fair grounds for a firing. But no, he's given his scientific opinion about the danger of alcohol versus some illegal drugs. So is New Labour dismissing science now? Or has the position of Home Secretary gone to Johnson's head? Is he high on power?!?!? As long as it's an alcoholic high, not a illegal drug high...

Brown Would Be 'Happy' To Support Blair for EU Presidency-So, there's now offically two people who would support him-Gordo and Berlusconi, strange bedfellows if I sae any! A cunning move by Brown, or ANOTHER desperate grasp by Brown to find some popularity? Okay, I lied, France and Germany are enthusiastic about Tone, The rest of Europe would rather have, well, anyone but Blair. All it really means is that the EU will still have an undemocratic bureacracy and an unelected President. Who better than a well-known face? Yes, you could have that chap Luxembourg, but who could pick him out in a line-up? And the Tories will apparently view Tone's appointment as 'a hostile act.' Does this mean that they will declare war on Europe?

UN General Assembley URGES US to End Trade Embargo on Cuba-I'm sure this will happen...187 countries have voted for this condemnation of the US, but it will go unheeded, as it has done for the past 18 years of this 'non-binding vote.' And it's just one more piece of evidence that Obama is not so different from his predecessors. We have his lie that Iran was covering up a secret nuclear facility, when it had already been reported to the IAEA. He was involved in a bribe to Palestine to halt a UN report of war crimes committed by Israel during an assualt on Gaza. The bribe was a weapons shipment, which Obama signed off. He was also involved in the deal to build 7 military bases in Coloumbia, only the country with the worst human rights record in South America. The audacity of hope indeed...

UN requests that developing countries must boost their broadband capabilities-What?!?!?!?!?!?!? I'm sure they have enough on their plate, being developing countries and all, such as poverty, disease, etc...but then we get the UNCTAD Deputy Secretary-General Petko Draganov saying "What is known as the broadband gap for example is becoming a serious handicap for companies in many poor countries." Ahhhh, so in order to develop, these countries must increase their broadband capabilties. I don't like conspiracy theories, but is this a request from the UN, or from dirty Western capitalists talking through the UN?!?!?!

No Question Time for the Postal Strike?-In the midst spending 50 minutes to show that Nick Griffin is a stupid racist (it took 50 minutes? It would take anyone else 5 minutes!!!) the more important question of the day was left out: the postal strike. Obviously this is less important than Nick Griffin or an article about Stephen Gately written in the worst newspaper on earth. Hang on a minute, Royal Mail is one of the last truly British institutions we have left, and will possibly be part-privatized...giving Griffin a round in his empty, broken rifle. Coincidence? Conspiracy? The panel could have easily destroyed Griffin in 5 minutes, then spent the rest talking about the postal strike, expense scandals, anything that is more important than Nick Griffin. Question Time shot itself in the foot, and so did the BBC...it will not survive the next election...

Strike Goes Postal: Ah yes industrial action...time to show how you are nothing but a petulant brat if you dare stray away from Capitalism and the free market. And we couldn't have a better example, a bunch of lazy Posties that finish at 12:00pm 4 days a week. Postmen of the world unite! you have nothing to lose but your perks! (oh and the future of your employer)

Gordon Brown thinks the Postal strike is solvable: Dark Lord Mandelson, a leading member in Brown's Socialist government, wants the Royal mail privatisng. He does not want this solved any time soon. But then neither were elected for their 'posts' were they??

Cristiano Ronaldo to become football's first billionaire- Just caught this one on yahoo.co.uk. Apparently, he will earn £16,000 a MINUTE. That's the minimum wage average for an entire year. Quite frankly, it's disgusting.

Gordon Brown: 'For the planet, there is no Plan B'-Another desperate attempt by Brown to set headlines, agendas, and liberal hearts on fire. This time, it's the environment he's aiming at. Apparently, world leaders have 50 days until the UN Summit in Copenhagen to sort out global warming/climate change. Is Brown trying to make what could be his last UN Summit as PM as special as possible? Global warming could work in Brown's favour, if suddenly the ice caps melted and parts of Britain were submerged. He coudl declare emergency powers and call off elections for as long as possible...Think about it, Gordon!

Russia does not need Democracy. The reds are coming back! not really, but apparently the Russian people increasingly believe they do not need democracy. The Rus are once again showing us a new scary form of Capitalism that may become our future. Watch out??

UN backs Gaza war report. Turns out that the Israeli's and Hamas were to blame. Strange. I always thought New Zealand was to blame.

RBS Shareholders Could Sue Sir Fred Goodwin-Fantastic news, IF you are an RBS shareholder. If anybody else feels justice is done if he is sued, then they are idiots. The rich turning on themselves is not a victory for the poor, or the millions of people affected by the recession, exacerbated by one Sir Fred Goodwin.

Brown Has Tears in His Eyes- I'm sorry, but that one wrote itself...

Poland will sign the Lisbon Treaty-Leaving the last hurdle as the Czech Republic. Can the Czech Republic hold out against 26 other states? If it does, then that is democracy working to it's fullest extent. If not, then the EU will have won...

Berlusconi stripped of immunity from prosecution-I bet the Mussolini idol did not like that! Some may say it's a huge blow to him, and leads to questions about his premiership. However, he could delay trials with the excuse of 'government work' (prostitutes, threesomes, etc). So the trials will be delayed until 2013 at the earliest, the end of his reign as Prime Minister. And anyway, if he is truly Superman, what can any judge possibly do to him? 

Irish to have a referedum on the EU AGAIN-So this is what democracy has come to, hey? The Irish said 'no' the first time, so let's ask them again! Typical EU attitude. But I'm all for Blair being the President of the EU. He needs to return to European politics. And maybe he could depose the New Tories when they win the next General Election. And at least the Irish were able to voice their opinions in a referendum...!

Brown doesn't have a painkiller addiction?!?!?! So political moron Andrew Marr's painkiller question brings down the Labour government? Just another attack on the fallen Brown. First Obama snubs him, now he's asked about a painkiller addiction? What next? Blame him for the death of MJ?As for Andrew Marr, Rossy was suspended for less..execute Marr!

German Election Gives Germany a Solid Centre-Right Government-The centre-right/right continues its prosperity throughout Europe. Merkel's Christian Democratic Party and the Free Democratic Party have a comfortable majority in the German Parliament. Britain's next General Election will probably turn out in the Conservative's favour as well. Why are people choosing the centre right parties across Europe? Answers on a postcard please

Obama snubs Brown-Who wouldn't snub Brown? His own mother probably snubs him, growling 'I wish I'd had an abortion' under her breath. The Lockerbie saga continues, and Obama is showing his immaturity by ignoring Brown. It's such a childish thing to do, isn't it? Doesnt't Obama know that it was an independent Scottish decision? And this guy thinks he can solve a recession, healthcare, the Middle East problem, etc?

Lib Dems Propose to Combat British Libel Laws-Thank God one of our parties has risen this issue! Our libel laws are a bleeding travesty, and it's about time the Lib Dems came up with something productive, rather than merely trashing Brown and Cameron. These laws repress free speech, especially in the area of science and politics, and make London lawyers stupidly rich. As our international influence dips below sub zero levels, these libel laws constrain free speech around the world. England is becoming THE place for suing people for libel around the world. In a one-sided debate, there can be only one winner, and our libel laws are making this state a reality. Scientologists, the Chiropractic Association, and many celebs use these laws to discount something that may be fact...VOTE FOR CLEGG!

Energy Racket continues- Despite the falling cost of oil, the biggest factor in the price of energy, the racketeers that control the nations access to warmth and heat and the like, have said they are 'unlikely' to lower costs. What? why does the government not do something about this, seems to me they could, they are supposed to be a nominal socialist government, and it would be a hit with voters.

President Ahmadinejad Rants, again- He may dress like a mental patient let out on day release, but he knows how to get a crowd going. And further shows his ignorance and stupidity towards the Israeli state which paradoxically keeps him in power- what else legitmizes his regime but this anti-Israel nonsense. Not sure if we should laugh or deploy a carrier group....

CUTS CUTS CUTS: Gordon Brown at last admits the obvious, there will need to be cuts in spending after the next budget/election, to turn around the massive deficit. That comes after his 0% rise in spending claim,though, so don't hold your breath. Is anyone else worried he was really talking about self harm? poor Gordo..

Keith Floyd dies aged 65. Sad new this, Keith Floyd was always entertaining, cooking in some rainy harbour in Palermo cooking some fish with tomato sauce. Simple great food, delivered with enthusiasm and not a F word in sight. Very surpirised he was only 65 though! he looked that in the eighties. RIP.

UN condemns 'war crimes' in Gaza Judge Richard Goldstone comments on the "war crimes" committed by Israeli and Palestinian forces. Isn't that what happens in war? not surprising, will not be the end of it either

Community Secretary Denham (who) states he's fears a return to 1930s fascism-On a related note, this no-name MP points at the 'English Defence League' and 'Stop Islamisation of Europe' protests and basically calls the participants Mosley's Blackshirts. Naugthy right-wingers, how dare they call a non-liberal protest?!?!?! But then he calls for a right-wing agenda, a drive to stop white working class people being influenced by extremists. Not very liberal, is it? Once more the working classes are blamed, rather than those who influence them. Liberal fascism again...

10s of 1000s rally against Obama in Washington-A group called 'Freedomworks'(Really? Discuss, 40 marks) organised this protest against Obama's BIG GOVERNMENT. They want less government and lower taxes (surpise, surprise). Obama needs to get back on track, the conservatives are slowly gaining ground. Obama's healthcare project could lose the next election for him. This has now become change the Yanks don't want to believe in...4 more years? I can also see liberals calling this march 'fascist', purely because it's against a 'liberal' agenda, even though the protestors calling for less governemnt. Liberal fascism anyone?

Tests on South Africa's 800m world champion Caster Semenya are likely to show that she has an inter-gender condition- Interesting. What is the status of these intergenders? are they good at formula one racing and synchronised swimming? shouldshe be allowed to keep her medal? go on, she is not going to win any beauty parades!

PM Apologises after Turing petition-In a way this is long over due, the man was a British genius and war hero (in a way). But would Gordon have responded to a petition for him to stand down with the same number of signatures? because I have a feeling that such a number could be raised in a matter of seconds. And while he seems to be caving to the murdoch pressure of Sky News (why not the national broadcaster, the BBC?) The Dying Scotsman seems to be adopting the Chamberlian method of premiership

England 5 Croatia 1- ENGIRLAND NA NA! It begins. Again. England beat an average side at football and the country starts its quadrannual/biannual slide into madness/depression and the feeling of inferiority. We never learn. But wives, make sure you are at your mothers on quarterfinal day- you may be the target of hubby's anti Romanian rage!

New Anti piracy proposals-  Headed by unelected despised lord of the realm/darkness Peter Mandelson, the government have threatened to cut off internet access to Illegal downloaders. But some guitarist from that band Radiohead said - "It's going to start a war which they'll never win." True. Bring it on. Anyone else have a problem with judging and sentencing people without trial? thought that was important. Silly me.

Alcohol Advertising Ban? Oh demon alchohol sad menories i can't recall..... doctors think that by banning advertising of alchohol that people will forget what it is. Because that worked really well with cigarettes didn't it? And putting up the price? what about those who enjoy in moderation, but do not want to pay through the nose? Lets out law Jaffa cakes while we are at it!

More plane terror plots 'likely'Al-Qaeda is likely to try again to use aircraft to attack the West, Whitehall officials have told the BBC.- maybe we should ban manned flight? return to the age of sail? can't slam a sloop into a skyscraper.

Jack Straw says oil played a part in al-Megrahi's release-What a shock! But really, anyone with any political knowledge knew this already. First we declared a war on terrorism for oil, now we're giving terrorists back for oil? How long will this go on for? New Labour are being buried early for this perfectly sensible act of seeking as much energy as possible. What do people think cars run on? Do they think energy comes out of thin air? WE NEED OIL PEOPLE! O

G20 Ministers agree action on banker's bonuses-I'm so enthusiastic about this, stop those bastard banker's getting more money! But nothing will come of it, apart from a pledge to 'seriously monitor the bonus situation', i.e. they can't do a damn thing about it!

More awful news in Afghanistan- It gets worse. I am all for sticking around and winning, but Does anyone else get the terrible feeling that the horse has already bolted?

Michael Jackson Buried- What the hell has he been doing all this time? I thought the autopsy was done weeks ago? has he been refilming thriller? he would be perfect for that now. END THIS, NOW PLEASE!

Indonesian Earthquake, again: Earthquakes can be important news. They can be awful, destructive, bastards. But the morbid doom vultures prime themselves with news flashes and breaking news tickers, in case some TV award winning news might follow, complete with fancy graphics and sexy academics! mmmmm....

Gordon Brown at last breaks silence: At Last Gordo speaks. Except anyone hoping to make political capital out of it fails to remember that his colossal boringness means no one cares!

100W Light Bulbs phased out: Ahhhh, yes, another example of liberal fascism/EU fascism gone wild. Save the world by curtailing freedom of light bulbs! What next? And why not target oil companies, car manufacturers, i.e. all the main sources of so-called global warming?

News from the second biggest economy on Earth: The opposition Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) is set for a massive election victory, exit polls suggest. Why do we never hear anything from Japan, an important Nation by any standard, yet anything from China India or even Brazil is deemed more sexy, and more important?

More arguments on the Libyan Prisoner release: al Megrahi's release continues to be used for political purposes. Even if the UK government would have done some kind of a deal, the SNP who had the final decision to make, would have screamed bloody murder, to gain political capital (they are usurping Scottish sovereignty to further UK interests) which would have strengthened the SNP's case for their ultimate goal: INDEPENDENCE! the decision may or may not have been right, but it was done out of a belief that it was the right thing to do, even if not popular. A political novelty, I know..

Sheep sold for £231,000-Did an MP buy it on his expenses?

UK population hits 61 million- I think we are starting to sink. Population hysteria is odd. On one hand its the cause of all our problems, but the moaning seems to be a way at getting at immigrants and single mothers. THEY TOOK ARE JOBS! THEY AIN'T GOT JOBS!

Ted Kennedy dies. And our Great Leader mangages to say the lamest thing imaginable, again 'he will be missed not only in America, but on every continent' REALLY? i think Africa has other stuff to worry about, and how about Antarctica? did he champion penguin rights?

Why Did Gordon Brown Release al Megrahi? Of course, I am only jesting. The whole pressure on Brown to answer for his release is another example of Cameron manipulating a topical issue to unseat Brown. And the media jump on this...Maybe Slime Mandelson was involved, but surely the Scots are independent?

MoD denies that 8 Chinook helicopters have not been usable for 9 years because of a software fault: Typical New Labour attidtude to spending. Cut everything radically until we need it, then hide this fact when we have a war, say, in the deserts of the Middle East...

More violence in the lead-up to the Afghan elections-God bless freedom to choose leaders...is democracy right for Afghanistan? Well, it must be, it works so well in the West. I guess we'll see a record turnout, and a possible uprising if 'the right man' doesn't win...

Rail Ticket Prices to Fall Next Year-Wow, just like the gas and electric prices then! But, of course, due to the massive hike in prices during the last couple of years, it will make no difference. Damn you Branson! Bring back British Rail?!?!?!

Death Toll In Afghanistan Reaches 200-Why are we still there? I see that Gordon Brown was quick to defend the Afghan mission...which is? And Ainsworth hasn't got a clue. Get rid!

North Korea Puts Military on Red Alert Due To Joint US-South Korean Military Exercise-I wish the US would stop pussy-footing around and declare war on North Korea. I mean, come on, it's the last bastion of Communism!

Researchers prove that a cup of tea does help in a crisis-Another useful experiment has reaped dividends! 68% of Brits turn to tea in the event of a crisis. Wow. Maybe our MPs should only be able to claim teabags on their expenses!

Alain Duncan-Need I say more? And these people will win the next election...kill me now!

FSA Will Publish Offical Guide Book on Bank Bonuses-I'm sure this will halt all unnecessary bonuses being given out, I mean, the FSA has so much power in regards to banks...

British Embassy Employee is Put on Trial In Iran-Serves him right! Probably added to the civil unrest in Persia. And the Foreign Office calls it 'unacceptable'. Wow. What a brutal smackdown. I'm sure Hossein Rassam will be freed now. Well, it worked for those Royal Navy hostages a couple of years ago...

1st Anniversary of Russian-Georgian War-First democratic war? Last democratic war? And now Russians are destroying the Internet to shut up the Georgian Cyxymu? How absurd....

More Inmates Than Ever In British Prisons-84,000 people are behind bars in our glorious isle. Typical of a government that doesn't care about causes, only about the symptoms of crime. Still, they pledge to increase jail capacity to 96,000 by 2014. Great...

Russian Court clears British Council of Back Tax Fraud Claims: Well thank Christ for that! A guilty charge could have led to a nuclear holocaust, or even worse than that, an outraged Putin going Commando (In the Arnie sense, I don't mean without underpants) on the British, using all his judo/tiger-maiming abilities to murder half the population...

Chinese Boy Drinks Petrol to Be Like Transformers Maybe he wanted to kill himself after watching the recent sequel

North Korea frees two US journalists Well, maybe they are not that bad after all? maybe we should all be friends now? bake a cake, send it round with Jimmy Carter?

Llyods TSB lose £4bn, they should have banked at Barclays really, Can't we just have one big bank?

Barclays Bank gaining £3billion pounds in profit! It hits you hard, when you struggle with money, that a bank in the worst recession since the great Depression, makes that much, when it was supposedly banks that largly caused said recession. But thats Capitalism, so swallow it! plasma TVs, cheap flights, massive inequality, it comes with the territory. On the subject, check out this link: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20090804/tod-oukoe-uk-banks-shirts-d987f7f.html. Footballers and bankers=scum of the earth!

Oil Running Out: We've heard this before, right? An old headline used since the great oil crisis of the 1970s. Yes, it probably would mean the end of the world if oil did run out, but surely we'll discover an alternative power source before then?!?!?!?!?! Just another panic button to press for the masses!

Another G20 Protest Investigation: How long will this go on for?